Dubai Bling Season 3 Review: Come Back Kris Fade; All is Forgiven Multiple personalities, handbags and egos are back for more.

I've had this recurring nightmare lately. It's about 4am and I suddenly wake up, covered in Fade Fit Crunchy Peanut Butter Protein Bars. I can barely reach the bedside table to find my Fade Fit Turmeric Ginger Gummies.

My body still aches after I fell off my daughter's Fade Fit Scooter, though I blame myself for riding it while still wearing my Fade Fit Shades.

And then I realize it's all in the imagination. My brain has been trying to imagine that Kris Fade is still part of Dubai Bling Season 3. He makes a brief appearance at the start of Episode 1, then disappears for good.

This is even more painful because the remaining male members of the cast of Season 3 appear to be on a mission to see who is the meekest of them all.

Finding the winner of this competition is no easy task. Let's start with poor old Fahad, long suffering husband of Safa Siddiqui. The theme of season 3 is Fahad being constantly fat-shamed. His eating is out of control, this is a serious medical emergency in the making.

Oddly, despite going to some of the world's most lavish dinner parties and restaurants, we never actually see Fahad eating. It's not until Episode 7 that he plucks the courage to say, "You want me to live in fear?".

This guy either deserves an Oscar or Shake Shack. Or both.

Taking of eating, I also feel terrible for Mona Kattan's husband Hassan. He is filmed dining alone. His wife is so busy, he needs a calendar invite to see her.

"I have dinner every night on my own," he says, almost tearfully.

Maybe he can invite anorexic Fahad over for dinner?

(Hassan my friend, word of advice: when you have kids, you will cherish the days of dining alone and calendar invites to see Mona).

Also making a play in the meek man competition is Heroies Havewalla, given a starring cameo role as the returning ex-husband of Farhana Bodi.

"Bro. I'm not the villain here. I'm the good guy," he tells us – before being portrayed as two-timing cheat who ran off with another woman, ditching his young son along the way.

Presumably Netflix thought at some stage there needs to be on-screen fisticuffs to man up the show. Enter Ebraheem and Hanna (Zeina Khoury's husband). Things get heated at a dinner party, and a baby fight almost breaks out.

"You're not a man. You're not a boy," says Hanna. Then what is he? We are never told.

"You mess with the bulls you get the horns," growls Ebraheem. Another word that includes "bull" springs to mind…the less said the better.

Ebraheem later let's slip that his marriage is on the rocks, largely because his wife doesn't feel they spend enough time together.

"If I cancel one event, I lose $10,000," he says. To be fair, it can't be cheap buying all those ultra tight shirts that are still too tight.

What about the women of Season 3? The usual suspects are back with the usual performances. Multiple hairstyles, dresses, handbags, egos and personalities. Safa steals the show in each of these categories.

Newcomers Jwana Karim and Mahira Abdel Aziz blend seamlessly into this world.

Much of Season 3 is built on a feud between LJ and Jwana. We eventually find that this all kicked off because LJ once followed Jwana's ex on Instagram. That's it? Sounds part of the course to me.

Model Roz, billed as the world's first Saudi model who lives in LA, joins for three episodes. It's not clear why her job description appears before her name. Like Bob the Builder, Carpenter Chris, Taxi Tim. Makes no sense to me.

In fact, by the end of Episode 9, very little makes sense.

But to be fair to the show and the cast, three seasons in and they have done a stellar job of promoting Dubai (and themselves). Those with genuine businesses and brands – notably DJ Bliss, Kris Fade and Mona Kattan – have been the biggest beneficiaries. Dubai's finest spots and pleasures have been showcased on a global scale.

Will there be a Season 4? Let me call Kris…